funny first tweets

YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL, YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL.

Is this anything? The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex. Damn girl are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet because I'm not feeling it right now but I see you over there doing you and I respect that.

2. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. I was wrong.

Tis my first twitt-er. The guy at Chipotle couldn't close my burrito. Out of my mind. What's so bad about that?

Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Each year we tweet nearly 200 billion times. - white girl life coach. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. STOP TELLING ME YOUR NEWBORN'S WEIGHT AND LENGTH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION. Funny Tweets. Like us on Facebook for more stories like this: Dude Keeps Protesting Annoying Everyday Things With Funny Signs (30 New Pics), This Lovely Cat Feels And Acts Like He's Not Any Different From His 'Brothers' (30 Pics), 30 Pics Of Cats That Got Funny Haircuts At The Vet For Surgery, This Pup Was Dressed Up In A Tuxedo To Greet His New Family, Who Decided Not To Show Up, 30 Funny Comics About Parrots, Illustrated By A Bird Owner, New Hugh Jackman Coffee Ad Goes Viral Because It's Hilariously Narrated By His 'Frenemy' Ryan Reynolds, Guy Edits Disney Characters Into His Photos And The Result Looks Like They're Having A Blast (30 Pics), This Woman Creates Beautiful Memorials For Dead Animals She Comes Across And Here Are 25 Of The Most Heartbreaking Ones, 14 Mysterious Things Found At The Bottom Of A Lake And The Stories Behind Them, This Guy Created A $1,750 Mushroom Coffin That Turns Your Body Into Compost In Less Than 3 Years, Mum Gorilla Who Lost Her Firstborn 1 Year Ago Gets Captured Cradling Her Month-Old Baby, 40 Hilarious Photos Of Cats Being The Biggest Jerks To Dogs, 11 Posts Of Kids Struggling With Distance Learning That Are Both Depressing And Hilarious, Local Authorities Order Anti-Maskers To Dig Graves For COVID-19 Victims In Java, Indonesia, Take A Look Inside The Sagamine House With An Exposed Concrete Exterior Developed By Tomoaki Uno Architects, Siberian Archaeologists Unearth 2,500 Y.O.

Obsessed with travel? So, he's got that in common with Kerouac.

With twitter’s Discover tool, you can easily search for your favorite account’s very first tweet. Our relationship with ants is weird. Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.

3. They taste awful. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing.

Did he take the express route down the mountain? Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. Yeah, but was she real??

Lack of social skills. —Oprah. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. Brain: Remember where you parked before the ice cream melts. I like it when they put 'the end' after a movie, so that you know not to stay sat in your seat for the rest of your life. *walk up to woman breastfeeding baby* Is this guy bothering you? Twitter 2. These are the only 85 that matter.

I'd like to return this pack of gum. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox.

Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Somebody help me. Ants are, like, "Hey, I only want these crumbs, ok?" THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME.

Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey sent the very first tweet on March 21, 2006 - the first of many billions to come. ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Is this thing on? 2. Someone ate some. Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus. A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you.

With over 200 million users, 140 million tweets a day, and 30 billion tweets in total, Twitter's struggle for acceptance has earned a Hollywood ending.

I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. [showing my chiropractor the scene where the robot stretches Mr. "Fill 'er up, please", I say as I pull my van up to the cat shelter. California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. I was in my car masturbating. Skeletons are the least impressive monster because almost every other monster is a monster AND a skeleton. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. The most embarrassing part about farting myself awake was that it was the most interesting aspect of my PowerPoint presentation. "Twit or tweet everybody."

Life can get hectic and you can forget to get your daily dose of funny tweets. Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture.